Sext with consent
Sexting Tips: Start the Conversation and Keep Control
Openers, a pace you both like and what to do if a photo goes where it should not.
Open with something from their profile, not a photo. Say what you want, follow their pace and stop the moment they hesitate. Keep faces and backgrounds out of pictures, think twice before sending any to someone you have not met, and know that sharing an intimate image without consent is a crime in the UK, Ireland and the USA.
What makes sexting good rather than awkward?
It takes two adults, a yes from both and a pace you both like.
How do you start a sexting conversation?
Start with their profile
Mention a tag they chose or something they wrote, then ask an easy question.
Tell them what you are after
One plain sentence gives them something to answer, or to decline.
Follow their pace
Slow, short replies mean ease off. If they turn up the heat, you can follow.
Check in
A quick ‘still good?’ tells them they can stop at any point.
Two rules. A pause is an answer, and a photo nobody asked for is never a good opener.
Photos and privacy
How do you keep an intimate photo private?
Leave your face out
A picture without your face or distinctive marks is harder to trace if it is passed on.
Check the background
A window view, a letter or a work lanyard can say more about you than the photo does.
Switch off location tags
The Suzy Lamplugh Trust advises turning off geo-location tags before you send images to anyone.
More habits are in keeping your sex life private online.
The law
What does the law say about sharing intimate images without consent?
| Where | The law | Penalty and notes |
|---|---|---|
| England and Wales | Sexual Offences Act 2003, section 66B, in force since 31 January 2024 | Up to 2 years where the aim is alarm, distress or humiliation. Threatening to share counts too |
| Scotland | Abusive Behaviour and Sexual Harm (Scotland) Act 2016, section 2 | Up to 5 years |
| Northern Ireland | Justice Act (Northern Ireland) 2016, section 51 | Up to 2 years |
| Ireland | Harassment, Harmful Communications and Related Offences Act 2020, in force since February 2021 | Up to 7 years where the aim is to cause harm. Threatening to share counts too |
| USA | TAKE IT DOWN Act, 2025 | Up to 2 years for images of adults. Covered platforms must remove flagged images within 48 hours of a valid request |
Canada (Criminal Code, section 162.1), New Zealand (Harmful Digital Communications Act 2015) and South Africa (Cybercrimes Act 2020, section 16) name offences too. This is general information, not legal advice: ask a solicitor or legal advice service about your own case.
If it goes wrong
What do you do if someone shares your photo or threatens to?
Netsafe, which takes scam reports in New Zealand, says of sextortion: this is not your fault.
Stop, block, do not pay
Cut off contact and block them on every platform, the National Crime Agency (NCA) says. It warns paying may not stop the threats, and the Gardaí say don’t pay.
Keep the evidence
Keep messages, images and screenshots rather than deleting them, as the NCA and the Gardaí both advise.
Report it
In the UK, call 101, or 999 if you feel at immediate risk of harm. In Ireland, tell any Garda station. In the USA, report to the FBI’s IC3, its hub for online crime.
Get the image taken down
Adults can use StopNCII, which makes a code from the image on your own device, so the image never leaves it. If you live in the Republic of Ireland, the Irish Internet Hotline asks the online service to remove it.
How does Local Sex Meets help you stay in control?
- Potentially sensitive photos are blurred and carry a warning before you view them.
- Blocking is instant and shuts that member out of contacting or seeing you.
- You can report a profile or message quickly, without leaving the site.
- You are warned when someone tries to pull the chat onto WhatsApp or another app.
The safety page lists every tool, the sex chat page explains messaging and the dating scams guide covers the money side of blackmail.
Sexting questions, answered
How do I start a sexting conversation?
Mention something in their profile, such as a tag they chose, and ask an easy question. Then tell them what you are after in one plain sentence and let them set the speed. If they go quiet, stop.
Is it safe to sext someone I have not met?
It carries more risk. Brook, the sexual health charity, warns that you can quickly lose control of what you share online with people you do not know. Think twice about pictures until you have met, and treat pressure for them as a cue to slow down.
What if someone is blackmailing me with a photo?
Stop replying, block them on every platform, do not pay and keep the messages and screenshots. Then report it to the police: 101 in the UK, any Garda station in Ireland. Adults can also use StopNCII.
Sources and dates
Where the law and advice come from
- The laws named above: official texts and government pages, read 3 November 2026.
- FBI IC3, 2025 Internet Crime Report. National Crime Agency, An Garda Síochána, Irish Internet Hotline, StopNCII and Netsafe (read 3 November 2026).
- Suzy Lamplugh Trust, Safety Online (updated 7 September 2026). Brook, Online Dating: 7 Safety Tips.