First meet plan
Meeting for Sex Safely: Stay in Charge of the Night
Check them, tell a friend, pick the place and say what you want out loud.
Verify who they are before you commit, stay in the site’s chat until you trust them, give a friend your plan and choose somewhere public that you can leave under your own steam. Talk through what you both want, and go the moment it stops feeling right. UK and Irish police and charities give the same advice.
How do you check someone before a first meet?
Go at your pace
Brook, the sexual health charity, says not to feel pressured to meet before you are ready.
Check their photos
Brook and Northern Ireland’s Trading Standards Service suggest a reverse image search to see whether a photo is stolen. An Garda Síochána, the Irish police, say to be wary of anyone who will not share a recent photo of their face.
Ask for a video call
The Garda advise a live video call, and Avon and Somerset Police list dodged video calls as a warning sign.
Keep chatting on the site
Brook says to message within the dating app until you have met and trust them. Suzy Lamplugh Trust, a personal safety charity, says the same about social media. Here, a warning appears if someone steers you to WhatsApp.
Where should you meet, and how do you get home?
Public first
Brook’s advice is to always meet somewhere public, with people about and a phone signal. Suzy Lamplugh Trust adds that you should plan how to leave.
Your own transport
Brook suggests arranging your own way there and back, and Suzy Lamplugh Trust says not to share a taxi home with someone you do not know.
Drinks and phone
Brook suggests limiting alcohol or skipping it. Suzy Lamplugh Trust says never leave a drink or phone unattended, and the Garda say to refuse food or drink you did not see prepared, to avoid spiking.
A friend in the loop
Brook recommends telling a friend who you are meeting, sharing a photo of their profile and updating your friend during the date. Suzy Lamplugh Trust says to check in before, during and after.
Consent and protection
What should you agree before anything starts?
A clear yes beats a guess every time.
Settle these in the chat or over a drink, before anything gets going:
- What you each want, and what is a firm no.
- Protection, and who is bringing it.
- That a no can come from either of you at any moment, with no explanation owed.
A date who bristles at these questions has told you something. The consent guide covers the law, and the sexual health guides cover testing: UK, Ireland and USA.
When is it time to walk away?
Leave, or end the chat, if any of these happen:
- A video call never happens, and the meeting keeps slipping.
- They want the conversation moved to another app immediately.
- Money, gift cards or cryptocurrency come up, or a story about emergencies or travel costs, as Avon and Somerset Police warn.
- They push for explicit images before you have met. Brook warns you can quickly lose control of anything you send.
- Your gut says no. Brook says to listen to it, and notes that some venues run an ‘Ask for Angela’ scheme for anyone feeling unsafe.
What if something goes wrong?
Know the numbers before you go.
- Emergency
- UK: 999. Ireland: 999 or 112. USA: 911.
- UK support
- NHS sexual assault referral centres offer medical, practical and emotional support, and you do not have to report an assault to the police. Rape Crisis England and Wales runs a 24-hour support line on 0808 500 2222.
- Ireland support
- Rape Crisis Ireland has a 24-hour helpline on 1800 77 88 88, and the Crime Victims Helpline is 116 006.
- On the site
- Block, report and ask support, whose staff reply by chat and messaging round the clock. The safety page lists every tool.
First meet: your questions
What kind of place suits a first casual meet?
Somewhere public and busy, with a phone signal, that you can get to and leave on your own terms. Brook and Suzy Lamplugh Trust both say to meet in public first, and the Garda say to chat there before going somewhere private.
How do I check someone is who they say they are?
Put their photos through a reverse image search, ask for a live video call and hold off on other apps until you trust them. Police advice lists dodged video calls as a warning sign. A badge is one signal, not proof.
What should I do if a date turns threatening?
Get to safety and call 999 in the UK, 999 or 112 in Ireland, or 911 in the USA. Afterwards, block them, report them to the site and keep the messages. The dating scams guide covers threats to share images.
Sources and dates
General information, checked 3 November 2026. The sources are UK and Irish, but the habits apply in any country.
- Brook, Online Dating: 7 Safety Tips.
- Suzy Lamplugh Trust, Safety Online (updated 7 September 2026).
- An Garda Síochána, Safety Advice for Meeting People Online (12 April 2022).
- Avon and Somerset Police (22 May 2026); Department for the Economy (Northern Ireland), Trading Standards Service (13 February 2025).
- NHS, Help after rape and sexual assault (reviewed 6 November 2024); Rape Crisis England and Wales; Rape Crisis Ireland.